I really did accost you tonight, didn’t I?

Oh stupid drunk brain, why can’t you shut the hell up…

Why?

Why can’t I just stay quiet and stay put and not make a sound until we all forget about the fact that I was mad about you?

A complete and utter nutcase, even?

It’s just getting better and scumbag brain has nothing better to do than yelling at you.

Argh.

Whyyyy do you have to smell so good whyyyyyyyyyyyyy???

“I have to admit something embarrassing, I forgot your name.”

“Oh, nevermind, Fucktard.”

Might have been a better reaction than just smiling and dying inside.

I want my friends to react exactly like Nick (from New Girl) reacted to Jess and Paul: “Oh my God, there’s two of them!”
I think we would be a really funny, silly, and therefore pretty annoying couple.
And everyone woult either love us and find us adorable or hate our guts.
And if that EVER happens, I think it’ll be worth the wait.

And I won’t ever regret not asking you out, because, let’s face it, though my body has been majorly affected by you, you’re not that kind of guy. As lame as talking about fate is when defending my own cowardice, if we were ‘meant for each other’ [or whatever] there’d been plenty of opportunities for us to bond.

So bye, Batman. Get your arse off my mind.

Just walk past me and my friends right after my obsession with you was actually calming down.

It’s not like you could have shown any sign of recognition - oh wait.

Arsehole.